


If this were real, we (insert sexual act here)

by osmalic



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Porn Battle, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-07
Updated: 2009-06-07
Packaged: 2017-10-22 00:46:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/231796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/osmalic/pseuds/osmalic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a honeymoon suite with lots of used toys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If this were real, we (insert sexual act here)

Dean makes a lot of jokes the entire way to the room. "Gonna carry me inside, honey?" he purrs. "Sweep me off my feet? I promise to swoon, swear to God."

Sam grits his teeth and doesn't look at his brother. "It was the only room left," he snaps, hauling the bags over his shoulder as he throws the door open.

"Bullshit," Dean replies cheerfully, pushing him away to get through. He takes a quick look around, whistles appreciatively at the goddamn honeymoon suite Sam has booked for them. It's larger than the previous motel rooms they've been in, but there's a large TV, a fridge, a cooking area, and a matrimonial bed—all white and pristine. He turns to Sam, his eyelash lowered. "Oh, Sammy...you shouldn't have."

"Shut up," Sam tells him, throwing the bag to one corner while Dean sinks into bed, laughing. The mattress is soft enough that almost half of him disappears. "They offered a pretty good price, asshole."

"Come on, Sam," Dean cackles, trying to roll around. "This is actually a pretty sweet deal for a fuckingly ugly by-the-hour motel by the road. How'd you find this?"

Sam shrugs and pointedly doesn't tell him that he got the advertisement while checking his SPAM inbox last week—the kind of mail he gets from the porn websites he hopes Dean thinks he's not checking. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," he says lightly. "At least I got—Dean. _Dean,_ get away from the chocolates!"

"Why?" Dean asks, already trying to cram five kinds of tidbits in his mouth at the same time. "It's complementary chocolates _on the bed_. Comes with the room, moron." Small pieces of chocolate fly from his mouth and spray all over the comforter.

Sam grimaces, but then he shrugs, makes his way to a mirrored door on the wall. "Check this out, it's a large mirror wall or...something..." His voice trails off when he flicks on the bathroom light, only to realize in horror that the bathroom wall is _apparently made of glass._

"Dude!" Dean has noticed this as well and has sat up. "That's seriously _weird._ Who the fuck watches their partner shower? What if she actually has to take a dump? _Not hot._ " To Sam's relief, he actually looks disturbed.

"I'm not surprised," Sam says, surprised to realize his voice is still working normally. "This is still a by-the-hour motel." He switches off the light, and he hears Dean give an uncharacteristic sigh of relief when the bathroom wall becomes a large black mirror again. Dean is crawling over the bed, chucking his shoes and wiggling out of his socks when Sam throws the closet open. What he sees chokes him. "Oh my god."

"What?" Dean bounds next to him, then stutters to a stop. _"Oh my god."_

There's a box of sex toys on the ground, but Sam's eyes are glued to the large note hanging at the back of the closet:

 _Congratulations on your happy marriage! The White Deer Motel is dedicated to providing you with the happiest of honeymoons! If you have any questions regarding other available sex toys, or if you would like to leave comments, please feel free to call the manager-in-charge._

  
Sam feels nauseated.

"What the hell have you gotten us into?" Dean asks in an awed whisper, and Sam is horrified to find that his brother is already on his knees, arms reaching out to touch the box.

"STOP! You don't know where it's been, moron!" Sam kicks the box away, shuddering.

Dean looks at him weirdly. "C'mon, man, we've been in weirder places. Might as well look around, you know?"

"No, I don't know." Something makes a rattling sound when Sam kicks the box again, and they look down to see chains with...little clips at the end...fall on the floor. "You're gonna have to get that."

"Fuck you." Dean's eyes darken. "You're the one who kicked the box."

"You're the one who wanted to touch whatever is in that box, you pervert," Sam yells. "Fucking _touch it already!"_

Then, because he's an awesome big brother, Dean grabs the first thing in the box and yells, "I touched it, there, you happy?" then chucks a large dildo on Sam's head. It bounces off somewhere, but Sam's already lurched forward to tackle Dean. They roll around on the floor, Dean landing a fist into Sam's gut that earns him an _"Oof,"_ but not enough to have him roll off. He cuffs Dean's head, forcing his thighs to work on a roll so he can knee Dean's gut, but all bets are off when his older brother actually bites him on the shoulder. "GODDAMMIT, Dean," he roars, then actually picks Dean up and throws him on the bed.

Dean bounces before he sinks, and he must have pressed the remote or something because the TV turns on and gets right into the porn channel. He sits up and snarks, "Yeah, you _really_ know how to pick the rooms, don't you, Sam? This what you wanted?"

There's a girl going, _"Oh-oh-oh,"_ at the background and Dean is sitting looking roughed up in the middle of the bed and Sam—fuck, Sam is _hard._

Dean must have realized it at the same time, because he smirks. "Real romantic of you, Sammy," he comments, trying to push himself up into a decent sitting position without sinking into the soft mattress. "This what you do to your new bride?"

"Shut up," Sam snarls, because something is very wrong with him. He just got impossibly harder when Dean said _bride_. "You're no blushing virgin, Dean."

"Looks like you don't want that," Dean says, laughing—and he's fucking getting chocolate smears on the bed, _fuck._ "C'mere, big boy, fuck me hard and I'll even mark your back with nail scratches— _oh-oh-oh."_ He times it alongside the girl on TV, grinning, but his expression changes when Sam stalks towards him. "Sam?"

Sam turns off the TV, then flings the remote towards the bathroom, before he stretches over Dean menacingly. He doesn't let himself think when he growls, "Bet you'll be all demure. If this was real."

"If this was real, I'd be kicking your ass," Dean retorts breathlessly, but he doesn't pull away and his eyes keep dropping to look at Sam's lips. "If this was real—Sam, if this was...real, I'd be...you'll—"

And this is when Sam pushes forward, claiming his lips to just _shut his brother up, God._ Dean's arms go around his shoulders, pulling him, and then they're both sinking into the mattress, Sam right on top of Dean. His hands are tugging off Dean's shirt, then his other shirt, finally making contact on the hot skin of his brother's stomach. Dean makes a small sound, opening his mouth to suck on Sam's tongue, but he spreads his legs wider to accommodate Sam. "C'mon," he breathes. "Big night ahead of us, baby."

"You're such a _bitch,"_ Sam complains against his mouth, but Dean swallows his words again with a kiss. He pulls away for a moment, just to complain again, "You'll be begging for it, you know." Dean just laughs, and Sam kisses him again.

His hands push the shirt up and off, nails scraping Dean's nipples, lightly at first but enough that Dean groans against his mouth. Sam grins, pulls off. "Bet I can make you come just from this," he pants, fingers twisting the nubs.

Dean moans. "Shit, _no,_ Sam." He raises his legs, lets their dicks grind together against their jeans. "Bastard, should've had...had _wine_ first—"

Sam's busy unbuckling his brother's belt and undoing the top of his jeans. "You're just easy."

"You fucking _love it,"_ Dean whines, yelps when Sam's hands dig into his pants to cup his jeans. Sam watches with an almost reverence as Dean's cock begins to fill his hands. "Seriously—god, Sam, just—I'm not a fucking virgin!"

"But it's our honeymoon," Sam says cheerfully, but he peels the jeans away, throws them behind him. Dean looks— _delicious,_ body almost sinking into the soft mattress (what the _hell_ is it even made of? It's unreal!) with his shirt raised to his armpit, his cock straining against his boxers. Sam licks his lips, then bends down, trying to find a better leverage so he won't sink into the mattress as much.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god," Dean babbles, moans when Sam's tongue traces his belly, lower. "Please, Sam, I don't—oh god—"

Sam laughs, his breath cooling the places he just licked. "If we were married," he says conversationally, "I would be shocked to find out you're so slutty during our honeymoon."

"If we were married, you would be sucking my dick right about now," Dean snarls, his fingers tangling with Sam's hair and pulling. "Get on with it, Sam!"

Sam laughs again, shivers at the thought of being married to Dean. It can't be disgust, not when he's about to give his brother a blowjob, but it's not anticipation either. He pushes the shorts down, frees Dean's cock. He presses his nose against the thick length, inhaling the bitter scent of pre-come.

 _"Today,_ Sam, maybe—oh _god—_ " A garbled moan escapes Dean's throat, and Sam has the satisfaction of pushing his brother's hips down to stop him from fucking into Sam's mouth. Dean's shaking, fucking _trembling_ , and Sam can't help making a noise. The vibration rips a sob from Dean, and he's saying Sam's name over and over again. Sam smiles, takes him in deeper, traces the intricate veins at the underside of Dean's cock. It's addicting, _satisfying_ , knowing that Sam can reduce his brother to mindless babble, and it takes him a few minutes to realize that Dean is tugging urgently at his hair and straining against him.

Sam's mouth releases his cock with a soft _pop._ "What?" he asks. "Kind of busy here."

But Dean is tugging at him insistently. "Take off your clothes," he says breathlessly. "I'm...I'm the only one naked here, dude."

Sam pulls himself up and stares down at his brother. "It's not a real honeymoon, you know," he says. "Just because it's a honeymoon suite. In a drive-by motel."

"I know, okay." Dean's face is red but he shimmies away from Sam a bit, his hands pulling at Sam's shirt. "It's... _Jesus,_ just forget it." He's pulling away from Sam, already tugging down his shirt, but Sam grabs his wrist, stares at him. _"What?"_

Sam takes a deep breath, and before he loses his nerve, says huskily, "Aren't you gonna undress me?"

Dean gapes at him for a moment, then grins. "S'what I'm talking about." He takes off his shirt, completely pushes down his boxers and throws them somewhere in the room. Then, he reaches out and grabs Sam's shirt. "You gonna help me out?"

"Nope," Sam says cheerfully, because he still knows how to be a younger brother.

Dean's eyes narrow, then the bastard plops himself down on Sam's lap, fits the crease of his ass right on top of Sam's dick and rubs—slowly. Sam groans, "Fucking _cheater,"_ but Dean only grins and replies, "S'what you get for still being dressed."

"The zipper has got to be chafing your ass, man," Sam points out, gasps when Dean sucks on his neck, his fingers spreading under Sam's shirt, on his stomach. "It's a—fuck, yeah—lose-lose situation. For your ass. I mean, your ass is— _god—_ gonna be sore."

"Rather it's sore for a _different_ reason," Dean murmurs against his skin, making Sam gasp out, _"Yes."_

They pull back, enough that they manage to get Sam's shirt off before they kiss again. Their tongues dance, chasing, and Sam bites Dean's lower lip when he pulls back again, pulling him back. Dean is working on his belt, lifting his hips briefly to lower the zipper and pull out Sam's cock. The minute his hands touch his dick, Sam has to grit his teeth and pull back, his head hitting the headboard with a _thunk._ "Ow."

"You okay?" Dean asks, brushing his fingers around Sam's cock.

"Yeah," Sam groans. "Keep—keep doing that."

"What?" Dean asks innocently, giving his cock a tug. Sam grabs his brother's ass, large fingers curving over the taught muscles to pull him forward, making their cocks brush. Dean falls forward, gasping, and Sam lets out a laugh, "Yeah, _that."_

"Fucker," Dean mutters. "If this was real—" He breaks off as Sam's hand encloses around both their dicks, moaning, "God, _your hands."_ Slick pre-cum makes the grip easier.

"If this was real," Sam encourages. "What?" He pulls Dean closer, can't help tracing the crack of his brother's ass with his other hand. His fingers catch the rim of Dean's hole, wrenching a strangled cry from his brother. He bites Dean's collar, licking the reddish skin. "C'mon, Dean, _what?"_

"—I'd be—I'd be," but Dean has to break off, hands enclosing over Sam to guide his movements over their cocks. "Fuck, _yeah._ Yeah, I'd be doing this. Whatever. Whatever you want, _god Sam—_ I'll be on all fours. On my back. Fucking upside-down, if you want."

"Yeah?" It makes Sam's heart speed up, makes him heady, makes him reckless as he surges forward, tightening his grip. Dean's hand over his own feels like a confession. "Yeah, you'd do that? For me? Everything?"

"Everything," Dean moans, "everything, everything, Sam, everything—" And he breaks off with a cry, tries to pull away. But Sam won't let him; he jacks him harder and faster, pins his brother closer to his body so he's still covering Sam when he starts to come right after. Their hands and thighs are splattered with thick cum, some already on Dean's stomach, on Sam's hands.

Dean immediately rolls off, collapsing on the sinking bed next to him, but Sam won't let him get away completely. He leans on the headrest, tries to stop the world from fading, and traps his brother's shoulder with one of his thighs.

"Sam," Dean breathes. "Sam."

Sam takes a deep breath, looks at the black mirror wall across the room and smiles. He shimmies down so he can lie beside his brother, rolls over to look at him. Dean is not meeting his eyes, but Sam reaches out to touch his cheek, forcing their eyes to meet. "Dean," he replies firmly. "I'm asking for it anyway."

"What?" Dean asks, looking confused.

The cum on Sam's fingers is still warm and sticky, but there's no brotherly malice in the way he smears it on Dean's lips. Well, only a bit. Mostly, Sam likes the way it looks, white jizz on Dean's thick lips, the lips Sam kissed and bit earlier. The lips that moaned and promised Sam _"everything"._

He smiles. "Everything, Dean." He leans forward, kisses Dean's lips, ignoring the stunned look on his brother's face. When Sam pulls back, he growls, "And don't think I'm not cashing in. Gimme ten minutes."

Dean barks out a laugh, then peers at Sam. "You're serious!" he says, surprised, then he grins. "Hey, you gotta wait for us to get settled in this room. We didn't even open the complimentary wine yet. Also? We're kind of sticky here, dude." Dean's face brightens as if an idea just enters his mind, and he leans forward to ask Sam excitedly, "Hey, hey. Sam, you wanna watch me shower?"


End file.
